A Mother’s Love

The instant flood of love I felt for Jude the moment I saw him did not surprise me. I had a feeling my heart would swell with indescribable love for my baby the moment his being entered this world. However, there was a powerful love I felt that day that I never imagined would fill my spirit in such a way–the love I had for my husband.

I will never forget the day of Jude’s birth and the 26 hours of labor leading up to his entrance into this world. I could not have asked for a better man to help me through that day. With every position change I made to try to help relieve my pain, he was right there with me. As I labored on the birthing ball, he sat on a chair behind me, rubbed my back through the pain, and let me fall into his arms between contractions. As I labored on the bed, he would sit behind me, hold me up in his arms, and let me lean on him for support. As I walked around the room and bent over the nearest object to try to relieve my pain, he was right their behind me, softly talking in my ear and providing pressure to my back. And when the pain got unbearable, he was there. He was there the whole time. He talked to me, held me, encouraged me, listened to me yell, helped me breathe, and prayed over me…he never left my side.

I can briefly remember the nurses saying what a great partner he was. In the moment I didn’t think anything different. I thought that every woman had a husband like mine. Now I realize how lucky I am.

When Jude and I went to our appointment with the lactation consultant six days after leaving the hospital, the nurse asked if my husband supported me breastfeeding. I said that yes, he did. She said, “With the way he was during labor, I’m not surprised at all.” I remember thinking to myself you mean there are women who aren’t as privileged as I? Women who don’t have a supportive man to hold them up during those tough hours? I never realized how much I take for granted.

I hold so tightly to the love I felt for my husband during those few days. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband dearly on this day as I did then. But there was a bond we shared the day our son was born and the few days after. I knew in those hours that my man would never leave my side–that there was no trial too big for us to get through. I am overwhelmed by the grace that God has bestowed upon me. I am a wretched sinner who doesn’t deserve a man like my husband.

It’s humbling to go through that much pain and know you cannot even do the simple task of standing up and sitting down without someone’s help. My husband was there, though, to offer all the help I could need.

You see, apart from the knowledge of the love and sacrifice of our Father in Heaven, I truly believe the most important love a child needs is the love his parents have for each other…a mother’s love for his father.

I look forward to bringing many more beautiful blessings into this world, not only because of the love I have for little Jude, but because of the inseparable bond I have with my husband.  There is part of me that looks forward to the next excruciating labor and delivery because I know my man will be by my side.

God has blessed me with two amazing men.

Little Jude, I hope and pray you will hold tight to your father’s teachings and always remember the love we have for each other. When times get tough, know we love you, too. I hope and pray you are blessed with an experience like this in your future. Look up to your father, he is worthy of your admiration.

And Tyler, you will never understand what you really did for me in those hours. I thank God daily for that experience and plead with Him to please let me remember every detail. You are quite a man, and I am blessed to be called your wife.

Be still, my heart.

 

 

 

7 Month Update!

Week 27!

7 Months!

Hello 3rd Trimester!

I can’t believe we are already entering the 3rd trimester! How exciting! Just 3 more months until we get to meet our precious child. I have a feeling those 3 months are going to fly by!

I’ve read many different articles and personal stories about many women in the second trimester and how energized they feel…yeah, that didn’t happen for me! I felt so drained the whole trimester! I average at least 8 hours of sleep, probably closer to 9, a night and I still feel like I need a nap most afternoons! I’m hoping I’ll have an abnormal third trimester and my energy levels will spike! That’d be nice.

I have made it more of a priority to exercise at least five days a week and I have seen a huge difference in both my motivation and attitude (I’m sure my husband appreciates both of those improvements!). I have felt more on task since making this a priority. Exercising definitely helps me feel more confident in my “growing” body, too.

My cravings lately have been on the sweeter side. I’ve really been trying to curb them with yummy fresh fruit. Most of the time it works; however, cinnamon rolls often sound quite delectable. It’s a good thing I have to eat a gluten free diet or else it would be way too easy to give in to my sweet temptations! I’ve also been craving milk, cheese, and yogurt. These I have to take in very small portions because of my sensitivity to dairy products. I usually opt for Silk yogurt (made from Soy milk), but there is no substitute for fresh dairy milk!

I’m so very thankful for my husband and his often reminders of his love, appreciation, and affection for me. It’s just so nice to hear “I love you,” “I appreciate you,” or “You’re beautiful,” when pregnancy hormones throw you for a loop and you feel like you are on the verge of crying for no reason. I love the unexpected smiles and laughter he so often brings to my days. He is one fine man; I am one lucky girl.

Speaking of crying for no reason, yesterday the source of my tears was accidentally drying a maternity top that I knew was going to shrink if I did so. As I put it in the wash I mentally told myself “Pull this out to hang dry when it’s finished.” Well, my pregnancy brain forgot and I dried it in the dryer. Whoa mama, bring on the tears. Really? Come on. Who cares? Me. Apparently I do. I’m a goon.

Baby’s kicks and turns are absolutely noticeable now. I love watching my belly move from his/her turns, kicks, and punches. Each movement I feel is such a blessed reminder of God’s impeccable timing and provision. I love this sweet child so much; I can’t even imagine the first time I’ll hold him/her in my arms. I don’t think I’ll be able to contain my joy!

Pink or Blue?

My little sister (Aunt A) surprised us with a gift a couple of weeks ago at Sunday dinner. Aren’t these shoes adorable?

Many people have asked if we are planning on finding out the gender of our baby.

The answer? Yes.

The day? Baby’s birth day.

When we were talking about finding out or waiting, I didn’t really have a preference at first. My husband wanted to wait until our baby was born. His reasoning? He just wanted to wait.

Fair enough.

So, that’s what we have chosen to do. I’m excited about our decision.

Why am I excited?

1. I want daddy to have the surprise. I was the first to know our family was beginning, I’ve had the joy of feeling Baby’s first movement, Baby’s first (obvious) kick, I’ll get to feel the first time Baby has hiccups, and every other incredible “firsts” there are in pregnancy. By waiting to know the gender, daddy gets a “first”. He’ll be the first to see the baby, and he’ll be the first to know whether he has been gifted with a son or daughter.

2. I want the man I love to tell me if our beautiful blessing is a boy or girl. I don’t want to hear from the doctor, I want that incredible moment to belong to the man that has walked by my side through the pregnancy and will continue to do so as we raise our child.

Plus, it can be kind of fun to play the guessing game. I’ve had people say to me, “Oh, that’s definitely a boy!” and, “You’re having a girl!”

Ultimately, we just want to have a healthy baby. Whether Baby is a boy or a girl, our world will be forever changed and increasingly blessed with their life, thanks be to God.

So, what do you think?

Boy or girl?

Side Sleeping Struggles

I love sleeping on my back, so this whole sleeping on my side thing is really tough!

I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night on my back. Immediately, I will turn to my side before falling asleep again.

I told my husband that if he ever woke up in the middle of the night and saw me asleep on my back to wake me and tell me to roll over.

The other night I fell asleep on my left side. My husband fell asleep on his back directly behind me so that I was basically leaning on him as I slept. (Such a great guy, I know.) I woke up in the middle of the night, about the time I usually find myself laying on my back, to find myself still on my left side and my hubby right behind me–he hadn’t moved!

I know this may sound silly and insignificant to you, but to me it means so much. Just in this simple gesture I know my man will always be there for me. I know he will always provide for our family and I. I am confident that he is ready to sacrifice any comfort if it means supporting me (literally and figuratively).

I am completely undeserving of such a man.

Crisis Averted

My husband is the man.

No really, he is.

How many husbands would pick out and put together an outfit for their wives? Mine would–and he did.

We recently attended an event that called for semi-formal dress (like what you might wear to a wedding). I chose my outfit and went to my husband to ask his opinion. I said, “Is this too short and/or too tight?” (I had chosen a maternity sweater dress, but I believe it must have shrunk last time it was washed.) I could tell my handsome man was trying to choose his words wisely to prevent hurting my over-sensitive prego feelings. We concluded to try to find another outfit.

I went back to the closet and started looking through my clothes. I was on the verge of getting a bit overwhelmed and a slight emotional when he walked in our room. I had chosen a different dress, and he promptly chose a sweater to match. Then he said, “Do you have a belt?” I pointed him to my stash of belts. He chose one and helped me put it on. Then he asked if I had a scarf that would go well with the rest of the outfit. I said I didn’t know, but he could look. He found one and I wrapped it around my neck.

This is what we (and by we I mean he) came up with:

Did he do a good job or what?

As I looked in the mirror, I remember feeling pretty. I remember the fear of “this dress makes me look like a whale” leaving my thoughts.

We enjoyed a fun-filled evening of entertainment, fellowship, and dancing. By the way, my man can dance. Holy moly!

Isn’t he handsome? Sorry, he’s mine.

I called my dad later that night to ask him a grammar question and ended up telling him this story.

He said to me, “You should think about that completely different. God is blessing you with what you have always wanted your whole life. Instead of being upset each time you try an outfit on that doesn’t fit, you should say ‘Man, that’s amazing. Thank you God.'”

He is right. He is completely right.

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”  Psalm 127:3

Without this reward from God our Father, I wouldn’t be having the “problem” of clothes that don’t fit, or stretch marks appearing, or having to run to the restroom every half an hour. You see, it’s not a “problem” at all, it’s a blessing.

“Praise the Lord!”

That Feeling Ain’t Butterflies Anymore, Darlin’

I’ve carried our firstborn for twenty and a half weeks so far.

It’s nice to know that your ever-expanding belly really has little to nothing to do with the amount of food intake you’ve been having.

A couple of weeks ago I had to really focus to feel the movement of our precious blessing. Twenty weeks must be a turning point–I don’t need to focus anymore. It’s pretty evident when the little one twists, turns, kicks and punches now.

I began to wonder if baby would respond to the voices of my husband and I. I decided to try it out. Since my husband and I are both singers, I pulled up the song we recorded together for our wedding and placed the earphones on my belly. (Here, take a listen: https://soundcloud.com/dmthighway/servant-song )

Well, I didn’t feel any movement. So I thought, “Maybe the song was too soft and slow–almost soothing.” I pulled up one of my husband’s more upbeat songs and boy oh boy was this little baby moving! It was amazing to feel the wiggles and jiggles of our sweet child. Truly indescribable and utterly incomparable to anything I’ve felt before.

Daddy even got a feel later that night at the dinner table!

We were eating our delicious meal of fried chicken, corn, and hash browns (quite the combo, I know) and I told my hubby it felt like the baby was jumping up and down on my bladder. My handsome other half comes over to me and puts his face against my belly and started talking to our little miracle of life.

He sang a song about jumping around like on a trampoline but to be careful and stay away from mommy’s bladder and spleen.

Then, to our amusement, he received a swift kick (or punch?) right to the mouth.

How absolutely amazing it is to play a part in the creation of life. I thank God everyday for this opportunity. To think, our Father in Heaven is knitting together a beautiful child we’ll one day cradle and cuddle and call our own. I am so often reminded of Psalm 139: “(13) For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. (14) I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

How humbling it is that the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth (Gen 1:1) has chosen me to show others His glory through the miraculous creation of a beautiful child.