A Mother’s Love

The instant flood of love I felt for Jude the moment I saw him did not surprise me. I had a feeling my heart would swell with indescribable love for my baby the moment his being entered this world. However, there was a powerful love I felt that day that I never imagined would fill my spirit in such a way–the love I had for my husband.

I will never forget the day of Jude’s birth and the 26 hours of labor leading up to his entrance into this world. I could not have asked for a better man to help me through that day. With every position change I made to try to help relieve my pain, he was right there with me. As I labored on the birthing ball, he sat on a chair behind me, rubbed my back through the pain, and let me fall into his arms between contractions. As I labored on the bed, he would sit behind me, hold me up in his arms, and let me lean on him for support. As I walked around the room and bent over the nearest object to try to relieve my pain, he was right their behind me, softly talking in my ear and providing pressure to my back. And when the pain got unbearable, he was there. He was there the whole time. He talked to me, held me, encouraged me, listened to me yell, helped me breathe, and prayed over me…he never left my side.

I can briefly remember the nurses saying what a great partner he was. In the moment I didn’t think anything different. I thought that every woman had a husband like mine. Now I realize how lucky I am.

When Jude and I went to our appointment with the lactation consultant six days after leaving the hospital, the nurse asked if my husband supported me breastfeeding. I said that yes, he did. She said, “With the way he was during labor, I’m not surprised at all.” I remember thinking to myself you mean there are women who aren’t as privileged as I? Women who don’t have a supportive man to hold them up during those tough hours? I never realized how much I take for granted.

I hold so tightly to the love I felt for my husband during those few days. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband dearly on this day as I did then. But there was a bond we shared the day our son was born and the few days after. I knew in those hours that my man would never leave my side–that there was no trial too big for us to get through. I am overwhelmed by the grace that God has bestowed upon me. I am a wretched sinner who doesn’t deserve a man like my husband.

It’s humbling to go through that much pain and know you cannot even do the simple task of standing up and sitting down without someone’s help. My husband was there, though, to offer all the help I could need.

You see, apart from the knowledge of the love and sacrifice of our Father in Heaven, I truly believe the most important love a child needs is the love his parents have for each other…a mother’s love for his father.

I look forward to bringing many more beautiful blessings into this world, not only because of the love I have for little Jude, but because of the inseparable bond I have with my husband.  There is part of me that looks forward to the next excruciating labor and delivery because I know my man will be by my side.

God has blessed me with two amazing men.

Little Jude, I hope and pray you will hold tight to your father’s teachings and always remember the love we have for each other. When times get tough, know we love you, too. I hope and pray you are blessed with an experience like this in your future. Look up to your father, he is worthy of your admiration.

And Tyler, you will never understand what you really did for me in those hours. I thank God daily for that experience and plead with Him to please let me remember every detail. You are quite a man, and I am blessed to be called your wife.

Be still, my heart.

 

 

 

Pregnancy Brain

Have you ever heard of women telling stories about their “pregnancy brain” moments?

I’m here to tell you that this is real stuff. It actually happens.

Here is my proof:

#1. Last Monday morning I woke up and poured myself a glass of water and a bowl of cereal. I reached in the refrigerator and pulled out the milk. Before I could stop myself, the milk that was supposed to go into my yummy bowl of cereal ended up in my glass of water. I was conscious of all I was doing, but I have NO idea what I was thinking. Needless to say, I ruined a glass of water and wasted fresh milk.

#2. Last week we were under a boil order for a few days. I boiled some water to put in the refrigerator to drink (boiled water really does not taste that great). When the pot of water had cooled a bit, I grabbed a jar to put it in. I asked my hubby to do the pouring because I’m clumsy and didn’t want to spill hot water all over my belly. He started to put the water in the jar as I reached out to hold the jar steady. He immediately stopped, looked at me with a look of pure bewilderment and said, “What are you doing?”. I replied “I was trying to keep the jar from moving.” Logically, I made a stupid move and my husband was very aware of that. I had just asked him to poor the water because it was so hot then I proceeded to stick my hand under the stream to save a bit of spilling water. How ridiculous.

After he finished pouring, I told him the look on his face uttered the words “you idiot” as he asked me what I was doing. I started laughing SO hard I could barely contain myself. If you knew my husband, you’d see how funny this situation really was. He would never call me a rude name even if it was exactly how I was acting at the time. We stood there in the kitchen and laughed for at least 10 minutes. That night, one of us would start giggling (it was usually me) as we remembered the incident.

 

The truth is, I really don’t think these two scenarios (among many more I haven’t listed) are results of my “pregnancy brain”. I’m kind of forgetful and air-headed even without a growing baby inside of me; but, it’s nice to blame the “pregnancy brain” while I can, right?

Side Sleeping Struggles

I love sleeping on my back, so this whole sleeping on my side thing is really tough!

I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night on my back. Immediately, I will turn to my side before falling asleep again.

I told my husband that if he ever woke up in the middle of the night and saw me asleep on my back to wake me and tell me to roll over.

The other night I fell asleep on my left side. My husband fell asleep on his back directly behind me so that I was basically leaning on him as I slept. (Such a great guy, I know.) I woke up in the middle of the night, about the time I usually find myself laying on my back, to find myself still on my left side and my hubby right behind me–he hadn’t moved!

I know this may sound silly and insignificant to you, but to me it means so much. Just in this simple gesture I know my man will always be there for me. I know he will always provide for our family and I. I am confident that he is ready to sacrifice any comfort if it means supporting me (literally and figuratively).

I am completely undeserving of such a man.

Crisis Averted

My husband is the man.

No really, he is.

How many husbands would pick out and put together an outfit for their wives? Mine would–and he did.

We recently attended an event that called for semi-formal dress (like what you might wear to a wedding). I chose my outfit and went to my husband to ask his opinion. I said, “Is this too short and/or too tight?” (I had chosen a maternity sweater dress, but I believe it must have shrunk last time it was washed.) I could tell my handsome man was trying to choose his words wisely to prevent hurting my over-sensitive prego feelings. We concluded to try to find another outfit.

I went back to the closet and started looking through my clothes. I was on the verge of getting a bit overwhelmed and a slight emotional when he walked in our room. I had chosen a different dress, and he promptly chose a sweater to match. Then he said, “Do you have a belt?” I pointed him to my stash of belts. He chose one and helped me put it on. Then he asked if I had a scarf that would go well with the rest of the outfit. I said I didn’t know, but he could look. He found one and I wrapped it around my neck.

This is what we (and by we I mean he) came up with:

Did he do a good job or what?

As I looked in the mirror, I remember feeling pretty. I remember the fear of “this dress makes me look like a whale” leaving my thoughts.

We enjoyed a fun-filled evening of entertainment, fellowship, and dancing. By the way, my man can dance. Holy moly!

Isn’t he handsome? Sorry, he’s mine.

I called my dad later that night to ask him a grammar question and ended up telling him this story.

He said to me, “You should think about that completely different. God is blessing you with what you have always wanted your whole life. Instead of being upset each time you try an outfit on that doesn’t fit, you should say ‘Man, that’s amazing. Thank you God.'”

He is right. He is completely right.

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”  Psalm 127:3

Without this reward from God our Father, I wouldn’t be having the “problem” of clothes that don’t fit, or stretch marks appearing, or having to run to the restroom every half an hour. You see, it’s not a “problem” at all, it’s a blessing.

“Praise the Lord!”